Monday, June 27, 2005


I know that they are bad for her but I let Lauren now and again have the perfect little food, I call heaven, but others call them Twinkies. I love them frozen, deep fired, and straight from the box.

Well as you know I have a new man in my life Mr. Espinola. He is drop dead fine. I met him at Hemenway's restaurant; it’s located right in the middle of Providence. They have the best sea food in the state. People from NY and Connecticut drive all that way just for some excellent oysters. Even when the place is pack, the service is fast fast fast!

I was having my normal lunch, get the lobster club, it’s to die for! …and this young handsome man walked by and I knew I had to talk to him. So I waited for him to go on break to make my move.

You can’t smoke anywhere in RI now, so you have to sneak out back in the loading dock to have a puff. It is funny how we met, but when I stepped out the back doors through the lobby, Mr. E was doing that thing, where you hold down one side of your nose, and blow real hard to clear out you sinuses. The pollen has been really bad in the city these past few weeks people getting sick around my office.

Anyway, some of his, you know, got on my dress and our eyes locked and we both started laughing. He handed me a balled up paper napkin and was trying to say he was sorry in some cute broken English. As I was wiping the gunk off my dress, I didn’t notice I was spreading an old ball of mint gum that was in the napkin (he forgot to tell me) on my now sticky leg. He then said something like oh pretty lady I so sorry” or something like that and he picked the gum off my dress rubbing my thigh very close to my you know what… two words “drip” and “ping”. The only thing keeping me from jumping on this man was the fact he was picking the gum off my dress and putting it directly into his mouth. He looked like a sexy monkey grooming me. My very own Antonio Hendarass!!!
I gave him my business card and told him to call me.


Hemenway's Seafood Grill & Oyster Bar
1 Providence Washington Plz
Providence, RI 02903-7104
(401) 351-8570


Anonymous David Maslanka said...

Again, not the real David Maslanka, but ...
You wanted to jump a waiter after he blew snot on you, wiped a dirty kleenex on your leg getting gum on you and then proceeded to chew the already discarded and now snot covered gum? We all know you are crazy, but this almost seems made up.

11:15 PM  
Blogger Miguel Cabana said...

Yowee, I can't believe they even let you on a soccer field with your kids!

11:52 PM  
Anonymous Emerson said...

What do you two do for fun? I can only imagine.

12:17 AM  
Blogger Mom said...

I don’t know how to explain it, maybe I’m different, maybe I am crazy, but it all just made sense at that moment. Imagine David, a beautiful woman (or man whatever way you go) that you have never met gives you a few smiles. You are not sure they are directed at you but then you notice her looking at you. At you David! That in itself was unbelievable to me. For so long I was unnoticed. That feeling you get inside…what would you call that? The electricity? chemistry? It made me pretty again.

I am a shy person David. That awkward and somewhat gross situation made me confident. It showed me that others are as dim-witted as me or as all the movies I love say “human”.

Also I loved the fact that you used “Kleenex” that is like saying Band-Aid, Xerox, DVD (which most people think is a format)… I work with “brand imprint” all of the time. Why did you write Kleenex? Why not tissue?


9:21 AM  
Anonymous David Maslanka said...

Just what I've always called it. Wipe it up with whatever you want, you still got turned on by some dude you have never met before blowing snot on you.

12:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If DVD is not a format, then what is it and why do different companies use it in marekting and to manafacture products? Only a Xerox makes a Xerox copy, but Toshiba make facsimile machines, yet Sony and others produce DVD's?!?!

11:05 PM  
Blogger Mom said...

White-out, Xerox, Kleenex, Rollerblades, DVD, and Jell-O are all brands. It is true that Xerox copiers make copies by xerography. But people use the word Xerox even if they have a Cannon copier. People use these words or brand names generically like Jell-O is the only people that make gelatin. It goes for Velcro too.

White-out = correction fluid
Xerox = copies
Kleenex = tissue
Rollerblades = inline skates
DVD = optical disc
Jell-O = gelatin

As for DVD well officially it can be named “Digital Video Disc” - unofficially it can be named “Digital Versatile Disc”. For Movies it uses MPEG as the format – but with the new computers you can save other stuff in other formats too.

Well maybe not so much for DVD’s…

The only reason why I know this is I work for an Ad agency. It’s all about the Brand Baby!

10:23 AM  

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