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Thursday, June 02, 2005

Did they have planes back then?

I didn’t catch her name so we’ll just call her “Marge”. She looked like a Marge, all salty and old, like a worn leather boot left out all winter. We were a high numbered “Zone”; I think Zone 9 to be seated on the plane. Some airlines like US Airways have moved to Zone seating system because apparently people were complaining that their seat row didn’t get called. Basically people are stupid. They can’t figure out row 5 is between rows 1 – 15. Anyway Zone 9 is near the front of the plane, right behind an exit row which means the overhead compartments are filled with emergency gear. Bonnie politely asked the flight attendant “Marge” if there was any overhead space available. Bonnie wanted to determine if she should check the bag (it was my bag, I packed way too much) that she was bringing on the plane or take her chances walking up and down the aisle searching for space for my extra bag.

Bonnie ships all of her items 2 weeks before she arrives. I guess it’s good to have a corporate UPS and FEXEX accounts.

Marge without even looking at Bonnie said “you are going to have to check yourself, I don’t know, it looks like it maybe full”. Bonnie just gave me a little strained smile as she passed me by and had the bag checked at the door. I noticed Marge was more interested conversing with the 3 older men sitting in front of her station than helping my friend out.

Bonnie has rules about traveling especially sitting next to people that she is traveling with even if it is an old friend. I was only 1 row behind her so we still could chat.

After take off, Bonnie pressed the call button on her seat to get Marge’s attention. Another of Bonnie’s rules is to always get a “new” pillow in a sealed bag not just one in a bin or on the seat next to you, this is because it could have been used by countless others who drool and pass gas on it. Marge stated that the pillows were perfectly sanitary and to use what Bonnie had. Bonnie looked over at me and sank back into her chair.

1 hour into the flight, 1 of the 3 men started up a conversation with Marge asking her where she goes for a vacation. Marge with a half grin told the men that she never has enough time for a vacation and how she losses the days if she doesn’t take them. She continued to tell them how she hasn’t had a raise in 5 years and that she has been in the industry for 32 years and on and on…. Bonnie who obviously overheard Marge’s comments started to laugh. Marge asked her if there was a problem. Bonnie said “wow, how did you catch on to that so quick?” Marge asked “excuse me?” Bonnie looked her straight in the face and said “I just find it strange that in 32 years you didn’t catch on to the fact you were in a dead end job…yet in 3 seconds you caught on that I was laughing at you? …because the fact is you are just an old, sour, past prime waitress in a really shity loud restaurant. Now run and get me a can of cran-whatever, unopened please and find me a new pillow”

Bonnie doesn’t take any shit.

http://www.monster.com/

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